82.

[we were all wasted. jamie is getting all zombie on me. haha.
keah, vinny, brody, kadie, jamie, me.]

This survey gets REAL personal, can you handle it?
certainly.

Your last ex rapes your best friend. What do you do?
that's a terrible thing to make someone think of!
i would probably do something about it.

Name one person you wish you could fix things with?
uh. chelsea. but idk.
things happen for a reason.

What’s something you’re looking forward to?
like around five hundred dollars to be deposited into my account.

Have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem?
to solve it, no.
but to temporarily deal with stress and feelings, yes.
but only to temporarily deal with them.
i handle my shit.
and that definitely isn't even on the top ten reasons i smoke & drink.

Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore?
not really.

Do you think it’s a bunch of shit when people say “I have no regrets."?
not really. i mean, i don't regret anything.
sure i have fucked up HARD.
but i learned so much.

Do your parents love you?
they do.

If your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you?
no. i don't have a place of my own.
i'm the friend that needed somewhere to stay.

There's a serial killer inside your house. What do you do?
do i know about it?
idk what i'd do.
it's pretty situational, you know?

Would you be the dumb bitch who gets killed first in a movie?
hahaha. i don't think so.
but who knows.

Do you get scared during scary movies?
YES.

Where do you want to live when you're older?
in a few years i plan on moving to portland.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of the year?
of course not.
life is nothing without change.

Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say?
uh. i don't have any of their numbers.
so after i found out it was them...
i'd probably ask them why the fuck they are calling.
because i don't talk to ANY of them.

Have you ever kissed anyone you weren't dating?
well of course.
single smooching is just fine.

Are you on any type of drugs?
bahahah.
no. not at the moment.

What are your plans for the weekend?
idk. i work all weekend.

Do you tell the person you love/like everything?
oh i tell matthew most everything.
i am VERY open with him!
which is a huge change for me.

Where did your last hug take place?
idk.

Is there someone you're missing right now?
naturally.

Do you believe in second chances?
i know that when i give them out, it isn't really worth it.

Have you ever been cheated on?
too many fucking times.

What's something you need to get done?
a car, a place, so many things.

Have you ever fallen asleep in an opposite sex's bed?
often.

How would you react if you walked in on your sibling having sex?
haha. i'd walk out.

What's your favorite color?
yellow.

What was the most boring thing you did today?
um. all of it.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette?
omg yeah. hahah.

Are you taller then 5'5?
i am.

Do you ever wonder if the person next to you is a virgin?
um. sometimes. hahaha. 

Did you know anybody that has committed suicide?
yeah. really, it's a waste.

Are your toe nails painted pink?
nah.

What's the last letter of your middle name?
e.

What kind of tea do you like the most?
hm. i'm not sure.
bubble tea!

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
nora.

Do you cry?
not very often.

What are/were you doing at twelve this afternoon?
laying around in bed.

Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you messed that up?
yeah. but i'm really happy where i'm at now.
so it's all good, in the end.

Have you ever kissed someones whose name started with a R?
hm. probably.

What does your 9th text in your inbox say?
i am so not looking it up.

Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
haha. it depends.
but loud is great.

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
nope.

Could things possibly get any better?
things could always get better.

When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
most of the time.

Where were you last Saturday night?
party!!

Who is the last person you ate with?
myself.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?
i have. it's great!

Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
uh. i doubt it would change anything.
so it's whatever, you know?

Do you prefer to call or text?
i text a lot, because i'm always at work.
but it takes too long to say what you need to say.
i prefer phonecalls.

If you could have anything right now what would it be?
a car, a place, lots of money.

81.

[favorite current pic.]

When was the last time you had a real smile on your face?
earlier.

Last WTF moment?
so i served this guy his food and he said "how am i supposed to eat this?"
and i said "with a fork."
like wtf, how does he think he's supposed to eat it?
put your hands behind your back and peck at it like a chicken, dumbass.
and yeah, he did have a fork, and no, there was nothing wrong with the food.
he really was just asking how to eat his food. some people, man. 

When was the last time you had a late night phone conversation?
where is matthew?

Are you happy with the way things are going?
i'm on the up and up.

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
of course.

Does it matter if your boyfriend/​​​​girlfriend smokes?
no.

Has the last person that kissed you ever made you cry?
no. never. and that truly is wonderful.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
hm. i'm not sure.

Are you currently frustrated with someone?
nothing comes to mind.

What is something you need to go shopping for?
a winter coat.

Is the last person you kissed older than you?
ten years.

Will this weekend be a good one?
undoubtedly.
they generally are.

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
i'm not sure who i hugged last.
but i'm sure if i was hugging them i would again.
i don't just hug anyone.

What are you planning on doing after this?
sleeping.

Was today a good day?
yeah it was 90% different than i expected.
and i'm okay with that.

Is there a certain person that makes you feel happy?
psh, more than one.
but one more than most. ♥

What did you wear yesterday?
idk, actually. hahah.

Who can you tell everything to?
matthew, actually.
which is really refreshing.

Who is the cutest person you have talked to today?
matthew, duh.

Did you ever waste too much time on someone?
waste? nah. we drug it out longer than we should have.
fighting for something truly unobtainable for us.
but hindsight is 20/20.
it happened so i could learn from it.

Is the person you last texted single?
idk who i texted last.

Was last night terrible?
no way. i stayed with matthew.

Last people besides family that went into your house?
emma j.

Do you like meeting new people?
yeah. sure. whatever.

Do you miss someone?
naturally.
who doesn't miss someone?

Is there a person of the opposite sex, not family, who means a lot to you?
of course.

What can always put you in a good mood?
hm. matthew, haha.
he's way too good at it.

Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
nooo. never. geez.

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
not if it meant leaving matthew behind.

Are you in a good mood right now?
sure. i'm kind of delirious.

Do you need to say anything to someone?
no. i'm good.
well, i love you.
yes, YOU.

How far away is the last person you kissed?
21 & yale.

Last time you talked to your mom?
oh goodness. like two days.
i need to get on it!

Where are you right now?
home.

What does your last text in your inbox say?
no fucking clue.

Latest you stayed up in the past week?
like 7am.
partying.

Have you ever been in a car accident?
yeah. ah!

What is the last thing you said aloud?
i'm not really sure.

What's bothering you right now?
i'm tired. but i know i won't be able to sleep.

How do you type your smileys?
however i want at the time.

What does your phone do when you get a text message?
vibrate.
i can't set a custom text tone.
the ones that come with the phone are too damn annoying.

Do you know anyone who does cocaine?
mhm.

Do you get jealous easily?
not anymore.
wasted emotion.

What was the last thing you drank?
water.

Are you a type of person who cares what people say about you?
eh. sometimes i wonder where people come up with shit.
but i don't really let it get to me.
and you're cute if you think some shit talking is gonna ruin my day.

Do you currently have a hickey, if so where?
nope.

Do you regret anything you've done this year?
eh. not really.

Do you have a bad habit?
don't we all.

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
yeah. oh well.
now i love someone who treats me as an equal.
it's pretty glorious.

Have you ever posed in the back of a photo that someone you didn't know?
fuck yeah!
i think it's funny to see people i don't know doing it in my photos.
so i do it, too.

Are you excited for anything?
uh. yeah, probably.

Where was your profile picture taken?
idk.

What woke you up today?
matthew.

Would you say that you're a nice person?
yes.

What color shirt are you wearing?
white. 

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
hm. yeah.

Do you have trust issues?
no. i just don't trust people as far as i can throw them.
which, believe me, isn't far.
and i'm okay with that.
i don't have an issue with it.

Expecting something to change in the next month?
things always do.

Fact about the last person who text messaged you?
uh. idk who texted me.
but they must be a person.

What did you do today?
woke up WAY early.
got home, didn't go back to bed.
went to owasso, then the doctor with nora.
then i took an hour long nap and went to work.

Are you single?
nah.

How do you feel about long distance relationships?
my relationship isn't long distance.
so i don't feel anything about them.

What is your favorite color?
three fucking guesses.

Were you mad when you woke up today?
it was whatever.

What do the majority of people in your life call you?
it's pretty evenly split.
liz, lizzard, yellow.

How late did you stay up last night?
like three. i couldn't sleep.

What were you doing at 8 AM this morning?
on my way home.

Who did you hangout with last night?
matthew, mike, & the cats.

Do you read often?
yeah. it's the best.

Who makes you happy most of the time?
myself.

Do people ever prank call you?
nah.

What are you listening to?
nothing.

Do you have any pets?
janis & bowser. ♥

Do you open up to people easily?
fuck no.
if you know about it, you were there.
end of story. haha.

What is the last non-alcoholic drink you had?
water.

Have any recent regrets?
nope.

Did you sleep alone last night?
sure didn't.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?
at nora's it scares me.

Do you like to listen to the radio when you are in the car?
yeah.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
nora.

Did you have a good last night of summer?
idk. probably?

Do you have kids?
no.

Have you lost friends in the past year?
yeah.

Where were your hands last night at 11 pm?
haha, on matthew, i'm sure.

Do you read magazines, or just look at the pictures?
both.

Do you have any tattoos?
nope.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
one of the greatest feelings.

Did you sleep alone friday night?
hm. idk. lol.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
the same person i'm liking now.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
nora.

What color is your hair ?
idk. reddish.

Who's the last person you hugged?
idk. 

What is your favorite drink ?
non-alc: water.
alc: gin & tonic & limes. lamb chop. idk. a lot.

Do you have any siblings?
three. :D

How did you get your last bruise?
work, probably.

Do you miss the way things used to be?
not in the slightest.

When you wake up what’s the first thing you do?
open my eyes.

What’s the last thing you bought?
hm. food, probably.

Do you dislike anyone at this moment!
it's whatever.

Whose your last text from?
idk.

80.

[:D]

how fast do you fall?
not very. 

are you single, or taken? or is it complicated?
taken.

is it tacky to listen to music while getting intimate?
well not really. 

what do you think about "kissing virgins?" are they wise, or just over doing it.
eh. to each their own.

do you like a chase?
eh. it can be fun.

what song makes you think of your current (or last) honey?
hm. there are so many. 

who taught you the most about love?
well, jesse my first love taught me a whole lot.
but it was all shit, and terrible.
you know, every girl has their shit relationship.
he was my first love, first heartbreak, and the shittiest relationship all rolled into one.
matthew is teaching me about real love.
it's really beautiful, actually. 

how many relationships have you been in?
idk, i don't feel like counting. 

how does that number relate to how many times you've been in love?
been in love twice.
but matthew is all that matters. (: 

what makes someone cute?
well, personally, their mannerisms. 

sexy?
their confidence, the way they carry themself.

irresistible?
uh. matthew? haha.

do you celebrate monthaversaries?
no. 

what's the cutest thing your significant other could do for you?
i don't really think about it.
he is way too good at coming up with it on his own. 

is kissing in the rain romantic to you?
i can be, i guess. 

can you trust a cheater?
no. no. NO. 

do you like agressive or innocent kisses?
either or. depends on the atmosphere, the environment. 

do you bite?
occasionally. (; 

have you ever "played the field?"
sure. i was on the rebound.
it sucked. haha.

would you rather have breakfast, lunch, or dinner as a date?
i love when he makes me breakfast.
but idc when.

do you ask your current relationshipee about their past dating experiences?
a few. but i'm not gonna interrogate him or anything. 

have you ever planned who you were going to date next if your current boyfriend was to dump you?
definitely not.

when you talk about your "first kiss," is it your first peck, or first french?
i don't talk about it.

what's the best gift a s/o has given you?
his love.
yeah, i know. it's cheesy. 

have you ever thought you loved someone, when you really just liked being in a relationship?
no. 

is pda gross?
eh. it can be pretty erotic. 

can you count how many boyfriends you've had on two hands? one?
two. 

when it comes to relationships, are you an introvert or extrovert?
generally i'm introverted.
but matthew is changing it. 

can you still get butterflies in your tummy after a long time of dating?
for sure.

79.

[that was a good night.]

What's something you'd automatically hate someone for? 
uh. i don't hate.
end of story.

How's life treating you? 
i'm all right.

Have plans for summer? If so, what? 
summer just ended.
i odn't think that far ahead.
haha, i'm turning 21 next summer though. :D

Are you avoiding anyone right now? 
that's not my style.

What was the last song you had on repeat for a good while? 
hm. i'm not sure.

What was the last thing you couldn't believe? 
the wonderful things matthew whispered in my ear last night.

Do you think that if you die young, you'll be remembered? 
yeah, of course.

Everyone has a lifeline; Who or what is yours? 
my lifeline is matthew.
i'm hopelessly in love.

What scares you the most in life? 
idk. not being in existence.

When was the last time you tried not to cry? 
it's been a minute.

Did you succeed? 
probably. i don't remember it. but i'm definitely not a cryer.

What do you hear? 
dexter. i love this show.

Did you learn anything new today? If so, what? 
uh. nora is sick.
possibly the flu.
fml. we share a room.

What was the last movie you watched? 
well, mostly just my shows.

Who or what caused you to be in the mood you're in now? 
well i had to wake up super early.
and i came back home, and nora is super sick.
and our room is just full of germs.
so i couldn't go back to sleep.
idk. now we're about to go to emmas. (:

Ever wanted to tell someone something, but couldn't? 
i generally say it.
but i'm tactful about it.

If you have, when was the last time that happened? 
i don't think this applies.

Do you believe in karma? 
god yeah.

Ever sang to someone? 
mhm. matthew likes it when i sing to him.

Who preformed at the last concert you went to? 
ghostland observatory.

How would you describe the real you? 
i have no idea.
i am terrible at describing myself.

When was the last time you felt like you were going to pass out? 
yesterday.

Ever given someone false hope? 
not on purpose.

When was the last time you were given any type of "talk"? 
idfk. haha, what does that mean?

Have you ever felt like you had lost it all? 
i did lose it all, no question about it.
but it was exactly what i needed.
because i rebuilt a better me.

What was the last dream you had about? 
people were taking these really wonderful nude pictures of themselves.
they were printing them out HUGE and using them as blankets?
it was very strange. but it was beautiful.

What's the longest time you've held your breath? 
i used to be able to hold it for like ever.

Are you planning on having kids? 
not at this moment.

How was the last party you went to? 
fucking great.
but i don't think i remember it all.
haha, i was looking at the pictures, and i was like "when did that happen?"

78.

^{[thomas (peanutbutter), zaquiri, and me! i love these boys!]}

<sup>Did you see a boy today that made you smile?
sure. but it wasn't an "i like you" smile.
jamie's boyfriend is just funny.

Has someone ever told you they will love you forever?
mhm.

So the last person you kissed asks you to marry them, you say?
uh. yes.
but idk.
we'd have to wait a LONG time before we actually got married.

What are your plans for your next birthday?
idk. party it up, i'm sure.

How many days til your next birthday?
uh. over half a year.

Does anyone disgust you?
yes, but not anyone that i've seen lately.

Do you say sorry first?
eh. i admit it when i'm wrong.
and i say sorry when it's due.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
not on matthew.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
um yes.
but that was in the past.

Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something you did?
nah.

Are you married?
no way.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
sure is.

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
definitely.

Are you a couple with the last person you kissed on the lips?
affirmative positive.

Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
yeah. he broke mine too.

Next time you will kiss someone?
yes!

Do you think about anyone before you go to bed?
yes.

Last thing you laughed really hard at?
wednesday when i tripped with matthew & mike.

Soooo, will you be sleeping on the floor tonight?
no.

Do you get distracted easily?
eh. depends.

Does your ex miss you?
i wouldn't know.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
&hearts;

Does anyone hate you?
if someone did i would feel sorry for them.
what a waste, you know?

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
not everyone. but most.
pedophiles don't, though.

Do you like road trips?
i'm a young adult.
i think that answers your question.

How many people do you trust 100 percent?
zerooo.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
eh. whatever.

Kiss anyone in the last week?
of course.

Do you have any stalkers?
no, for once.
thank fucking god.
idk  what it is with me.
i attract them like moths to the flame.

Who are you dating now?
been with matthew almost nine months.

What are you excited for?
idk. tomorrow.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
as a waitress, it's part of my daily job description.

You kissed someone yesterday, didn't you?
jamie! on the cheek.

Do you have current feelings for anybody?
i love matthew.

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
yeah.

Have you ever had the cops called on you?
bahahaha. yeah. my best friend.
that really big fight you mentioned earlier.
she was so fucking drunk and pilled out.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
current relationship is over that.

Do you want to be single?
no. i'm happy with matthew.

Why did you last cry?
laughing too hard. 

Could you handle a long distance relationship?
no. 

Where is the person you miss the MOST right now?
in his bed.
i wish i was there, too.</sup>